Really short story about my life with scoliosis. It's not always that bad, but there are days I feel like this.
My mother is a physiotherapist and she's always oh-so-smart about how I'm not trying enough to fix my spine. One part is about her.
It's dedicated to everyone who has scoliosis and knows the pain.
PS: feel free to tell me about any mistakes I made.

Please, don't tell me it can't hurt that bad. Don't tell me it can't be seen. Don't tell me how I'm still beautiful, no matter how I look. Don't, if you value my sanity.
I'm living with it for eleven years now and still I'm not used to it. The pain is excruciating and I can't sit or stand still and straight for more than ten minutes. How am I supposed to learn, when I can't even sit behind my desk? How am I supposed to be as good as you in any sport, if my moves are limited, if I can't jump as high as you, if I can't run as fast you can and if I can't strech my limbs as far as you can?
Can you tell me, how to wear a tight top, when one of my shoulders is higher than the other, when one side of my ribs looks like it's swollen, and when I'm always leaned to one side.
Please, cut out that crap about me making excuses, when I only want to do things that you don't even think about, when I only want to walk normal, sit normal, stand normal, whitout that pain in my back.
Please, shut up about how I'm not trying enough to fix it. I am trying, only you can't see it. I'm doing exercises every fuckin' day, I'm trying to stand and sit straight every fuckin' minute of my life and still it doesn't get any better.
But sorry, of course you would now better, wouldn't you? You graduatet from medicne, you have experiences and you know that this can be fixed if only I'd be more willing. Perhaps you want to trade with me for one day? Too much? One hour? I am willing enough to escape from pain for only hour to try anything.
Please, don't tell me that love is waiting for me outside. I want to experience a real love, you know, the energy of two bodies connected, but I'm afraid that no one will love me that way. I'm trying to hide it, but I can't, it's only getting worse. Am I really such creature? Am I asking too much if I only want to be loved?